I Come From a Small Island

I Come From a Small Island

Medium: Oil paint and pigment on canvas
Size: 50 × 40 × 4 cm

I Come From a Small Island took shape over several months, evolving organically, almost without conscious direction. The first stage was pure texture: thick black paint applied with sponge rollers, creating sharp, jagged ‘teeth’, like some deep-sea predator. Once dry, I mixed powdered pigments into white oil paint, forming a rich, thick paste. I then pressed this dense, putty-like mixture into the canvas with my hands and fingers. In places, it stands over one centimetre deep.

Initially, the painting’s meaning eluded me. What the hell was I thinking? was the best, the most honest, the only title I could think of. However, living with it day after day, a truth dawned on me: this was my tangled relationship with Ireland. I was born there, raised there, yet couldn’t wait to ‘escape’ as a teenager. Landing in London for the first time, I breathed a sigh of relief: “I’m home”, I thought.

The Brexit referendum came as a profound shock. London remains my physical base, but the emotional connection, that sense of ‘home’, has faded.

Now, when I look at I Come From a Small Island, I see things very differently. It wasn’t Ireland I wanted to escape, it was myself. Age brings perspective, thankfully, and those feelings are long gone. Still, it’s fascinating to look at the painting now and see that subconscious struggle laid bare – a snapshot of my anxieties, from the restlessness of youth to the uncertainties that followed Brexit.